Minutes Now
by reviewgirl911
Summary: Prompt: There are minutes now where I don't think about you at all. Sometimes hours. Never days. Harry dies on an Auror mission, and Ginny writes him a goodbye letter. Part of my Dear Old Love prompt series.


**This is a part of my Dear Old Love prompt series. Harry's died on an Auror mission, and Ginny writes him a goodbye letter. Hope you enjoy! Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I just am overly enthusiastic about it. **

**Prompt:** There are minutes now where I don't think about you at all. Sometimes hours. Never days.

Dear Harry,

Six months ago, you went away on an Auror mission to catch the last few lingering Death Eaters. You jugged Lily and ruffled our sons' hair and gave me a goodbye kiss I'm still savoring. You had gone on other long term missions, but this felt different. The intel your office had received was shaky at best, and though you tried to keep the worry off your face for our kids, I could still see it.

"You better come back safe," I said, jabbing a finger into your chest. "You promised."

You just smiled at me in that way that still makes my heart race after twenty years of marriage. "I will," you said. "I always do, don't I?"

The first two months of the mission flew by without cause for concern, but in the third month the Ministry was unable to contact you or your men and the unit were declared missing in action. A month later, they found your team. Only half of the Aurors brought on the mission were still alive. You weren't one of them.

From what your men told me, you died honorably. The fight hadn't gone well. Your intel had been fairly accurate but miscalculated the number of rogue Death Eaters there were. Your team was hopelessly outnumbered. The Death Eaters had all be killed, but the Aurors suffered heavy losses as well. Supplies and energy were running low, and it was impossible to contact the Ministry from your vantage point. You had been nicked by a cursed blade at some point, and no spell or counter-curse would close the wound.

"I tried to give him something for the pain," your medic told me, his eyes far too solemn for his age. "He refused to take anything, said someone else could use it more than him."

Apparently your wound had been heavily bleeding and painful, but you never complained. Of course you didn't. You fell fifty feet in the air during a Quidditch match once, and the only thing you were concerned about was who won. After the Final Battle, Mum practically had to drag you by the ear to the Infirmary because you had all sorts of painful bruises and cuts that were infected that you had figured would just heal on their own. Sometimes I wonder why people like Malfoy and Snape always insisted you were a spoilt brat. You were anything but. You saw things like food and love and comfort as a privilege, not a right. In time, I think we were able to change that mindset in you, but after that I still don't think you saw those things as a right so much as you did as a blessing.

I didn't say anything in reply. Instead, I smiled and offered the boy a cup of tea. He was young, probably only a year or two older than our Teddy. Even though he isn't our son biologically, I'll always consider Teddy our first child. He was only a baby when he lost his parents, and Andromeda died when he was only four years old. Seeing this young man makes me remember the relieved look in your eye when Teddy announced he would be pursuing a mastery in Transfiguration. You had been so afraid that one of our children would want to follow in your footsteps.

James seemed to find comfort in the fact that you died well and honorably, as any Gryffindor would, but our other children were less reassured. Teddy said very little, but his hair didn't flicker once, only remaining inky black. His eyes were a stormy gray you had always liked because it was the exact color of Sirius's. I'm sure he understood more than our younger children about how death works and the unfairness of it all. You had always been very blunt with him about that. Lily, ever the Ravenclaw, questioned everything: the Auror's battle plans, their intel, everything. She wanted some answer, some logical reason, to explain why her beloved daddy hadn't come home safely that time. Albus had questions too, but his were more cunning. He asked why such a prominent Senior Auror would be assigned to the mission in the first place.

One of your men answered, "He volunteered."

It didn't surprise Teddy or me to hear that. You had always had a great sense of when and where there would be danger, and evidently you had sensed it in this mission. It had always driven my mom crazy that you used this talent to get into trouble as opposed to staying out of it, but I suppose you wouldn't have been yourself if you stayed out of trouble.

Your kids were more skeptical. They just kept asking questions, "Why this and why that?" Eventually your team had offered all the answers and comfort they could, and after sending them home with some of Mum's cookies, it was just the kids and me left in the living room.

For a long time, none of us said anything. Then Lily started to cry. Teddy pulled her into his lap, whispering comforting things into her ear. Albus and James were quick to comfort her cries just as they did when they were children. James tried to make his sister laugh while Albus stroke her hair. I would have done something if I could have, but our daughter has always been a daddy's girl. My comfort wouldn't have done much anyway. Lily hasn't been talking any of this well.

"Why'd Daddy have to be an Auror?" she cried. "Why couldn't he work in an office like Aunt Hermione?" All the kids, even Teddy, turned to look at me. My thoughts turned back to a week after the war ended. Kingsley made the decision to waive the NEWT requirement for new recruits temporarily. That very day, you went to the Ministry to sign up for Auror training.

I still remember the cool taste of lemonade on my tongue at lunch as you told us what you had done. Predictably, no one was too happy. Mum fretted, wanting you to enjoy peace for a while and finish school. My older brothers protested, telling you to enjoy being a kid for a while. Ron and Hermione tried to talk you out of it, inviting you come to Australia with them. None of this changed your mind. You calmly told us that you were going to be an Auror, and if we didn't like it that was too bad. Sirius would've been proud of you in that moment, especially if he had seen the expression on Mum's face.

I wouldn't talk to you for a week. One day, you found me sitting by our tiny creek. You started to tell me about everything that had happened up to the battle. You told me about the Horcruxes, Ron leaving, the dungeons of Malfoy Manor, breaking into Gringotts… You talked until the sun started to set and your voice was hoarse.

When you were done, I said, "Haven't you earned a bit of peace then?"

You just looked at me and said, "I wouldn't know what to do with peace."

I did not repeat your sad comment to our children. "When your father and I were growing up, the world wasn't safe. We fought long and hard for our safety," I explained gently, brushing back a strand of Lily's red hair behind her ear. "He never wanted you kids to have to fight like we did. That's why he went to work every day."

My explanation eased some of Lily's tears. Our children know, always have and always will, how much you loved them. I remember when Jamie was born. You were so afraid that the Dursleys had damaged you so badly that you could never be a good parent. I thought that was crazy. As Ron would say, you were being a bloody idiot. You were the perfect father. You worked long hard hours sometime seeing horrible things, and yet when you got home you smiled and were always willing to participate in tea parties and Quidditch games. I still remember you sporting Lily's pink nail polish for a week to work just because it made her smile. I know that every time you came home from a long-term mission at night, you stopped in our children's rooms and kissed them on the forehead before coming to bed. You didn't think I knew, but I did.

You would never believe the turnout for your funeral, Harry. Thousands of people showed up, crowding Godric's Hallow. There was a lot of titles and honors and showboating bestowed upon you, all of which you would have hated, but there was also a lot of respect and love. Kingsley stood up and gave a speech on your commit to the DMLE, how you had been the first person to sign up for Auror training after the war. He spoke of your leadership and bravery, reminiscent of Dumbledore. Your team stood up and recounted your final moments: how you had stayed in good humor and refused to let them believe they would never go home, how you hadn't complained or moaned in pain, how you had faced death calmly. Then Ron and Hermione each gave a speech. Ron talked about how you two had been best friends since you sat together on the Hogwarts Express and how you had become part of our family (Ron's twin, as George and Fred always used to say). He talked about the Horcrux hunt and how he had left and then when you came back you forgave him instantly.

"Forgiveness was always easy with Harry," Ron said, tears thick in his voice. "Even when you didn't really deserve it, he was willing to give it."

Hermione talked about how you and she had sometimes felt left out, being only children, amongst us Weasleys and had adopted each other as siblings. She talked about your time in the tent and how you got each other through the day without going insane. By the end of Hermione's speech, everyone was in tears.

I wanted to say something, anything, about our marriage: how you never left for work before we kissed, how you always warmed my hands when they were cold, how you had a special crooked grin reserved just for me. I wanted to say that you were a wonderful husbands and father and that I'd never stop missing you, but all my words got caught in my throat. I couldn't say a word.

I have never been more grateful for our family that day. Though they were all hurting as well, they surrounded me and the children, sheltering us from the crowd. Victoire was burrowed into Teddy's side, playing with his hair and pressing a kiss to his neck every now and then. Fred had his arm slung around James shoulders and instead of cracking jokes as he usually would offered silent support. Albus was leaning slightly against Rose, her hand in his. A sobbing Lily was being propped up by Hugo and Roxanne, who tried desperately to sooth her. Hermione and Ron flanked me, their arms linked through mine. I think we all felt stronger this way: together.

Someone in our family had to give a speech. Teddy had told me softly but firmly that he wasn't going to do it earlier. The poor boy had lost his parents and his grandparents so young, and I don't think he wanted to reflect on your death through a speech. I had expected it to be Albus, but he seemed to be off in another world. Lily was crying so hard she could barely stand so the responsibility fell to James. You would have been so proud of your son, Harry. He walked up to the podium, head held high, and began to speak.

"I've heard a lot of talk today of what kind of man my dad was: a good Auror, a brave man, a hero even. I don't disagree with any of those things. My dad was a great man but", he looked over at us, "he was also a dad. He was the only person in our house who could make an edible meal, but whenever Mum got bit by the cooking bug, he smiled and ate the meal like it was gourmet. Trust me, it wasn't." I laughed through my tears. "My dad never missed a birthday or a holiday. Even though he worked full time, he always told us a story before bed when we were kids." A mischievous smile spread across James's face. "When I started Hogwarts Mum told me to stay out of trouble, but Dad pulled me aside and said as long as I didn't give Mum or the Headmistress a heart attack he was fine with me having a bit of fun." James's expression became more serious. "What I loved most about my dad, though, was his humility. His Order of Merlin lived in a draw in his study. He hated doing interviews and being in the public eye. When I was a third year, my dad came to speak to my Defense class. Someone asked him about his greatest achievement, and he said, "You and I might disagree over exactly what that is. I will never say defeating Voldemort was my greatest achievement. There was too much death and destruction, and I lost too many people I cared about. Your greatest accomplishment should be what you're most proud of. For me, that is my family."" James turned to look at your headstone. "Dad, I love you, and I hope I can be half the man you were someday. Say high to Grandma and Grandpa Potter and Uncles Sirius and Remus for me, okay?"

With that, James walked back to us. Lily clung to him sobbing, and Teddy wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Albus only exchanged a look with his brother, but it was all that was needed. The whole family was shocked. James, the cockiest of our children, the most outgoing grandchild, had stated he admired your humility. Everyone always saw you in Albus, in his looks and mannerisms, but in that moment I realized that while Albus looked like you, James thought like you.

After the service, we all reminisced and laughed and cried about you until the sun went down. After the last family member left, I went to bed. It wasn't long until Albus and James and even Lily crept into our bed just like when they were little. I suspected that if Teddy still lived at home he would've been here too. For the first time since you disappeared, I slept peacefully through the night.

Time goes on, I suppose. James, having graduated from Hogwarts shortly before your mission started, promptly entered Auror training. Everyone in the family put up a fuss, especially Mum, but James silenced them by saying, "My grandfather was in the Order of the Phoenix. My dad was an Auror. There's a family tradition of fighting for what's right that I'd like to continue." He was worried about what I would think. He came to me with all these reasons and arguments why he should be an Auror, and all I said was, "Your dad would be very proud of you." I knew that, despite your worries and fears, you would have been. I've never seen James's smile brighter.

Lily and Albus are both back at Hogwarts now, Lily in her fifth year and Albus in his sixth. Albus is very seriously considering going into law. He said that if James was going to catch criminals, the least he could do was put them away in Azakban. Lily has decided to be a healer, claiming that if her brothers were going to save the worlds she was too.

I've quit my job at the Prophet. I just don't have the passion for it I once did, but don't you worry. I've decided to take on a new project. I'm going to write your biography just the way you would want it. I won't leave anything out, I promise.

There are minutes now where I don't think about you at all. Sometimes hours. Never days. I love you, Harry, and I miss you, but I'll see you again one day. Meet me at the station, okay?"

All my love,

Ginny


End file.
